Friday, 30 November 2007
 

Geeky? Moi?

I got a cool BCD clock  -- the one with blue LEDs, natch, since red LED's are so 1970s -- from ThinkGeek.com in today's mail, with nothing on or in the package indicating who ordered it for me. I can make a reasonably educated guess who sent it but I wish whoever did would write and tell me for sure. For now I'm going to leave it in the box it came in until at least Christmas, and possibly till my new apartment's ready; I like it but I don't really have a good place for it right now.

I guess there really are only 10 kinds of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

***

My daughter emailed to say she was the one who sent the clock. I felt pretty sure she was but it's nice to be sure.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 30, 2007 at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I'm still around

The eye problem seems to be getting better but it's still distracting enough to keep me from spending as much time online as normal.

I'm on a strange sleeping schedule right now. The only place in the house where I have a place to write with decent lighting is the kitchen table, and the only way I can get a reasonable amount of uninterrupted time there is to stay up late. I've spent the last couple of evenings redrawing the floor plan for my new apartment with finite-thickness walls to get a better idea how much of the back yard I need. I have two alternate designs done. One of them takes up more room in the part of the yard where the swing set is than I really like, the other extends farther west than I really like. I'll spend a little more time thinking about the choice then before I actually have anything built I'll dump the decision in my sister's lap.

***

I think staying up late last night and getting up about normal time this morning is catching up with me. I won't have any trouble at all sleeping as soon as everyone else goes to sleep.

I think the solution to my apartment either being too far east or too far west is to shorten the apartment. I don't need as much room between the bed and the bathroom, or between the bed and the west wall, as I was trying to allow for. My new plan calls for not using any of the space behind my sister's room (the area where the playground set is now) and only calls for going about 6 feet west of the end of the garage; not much farther than just far enough to be able to see up the drive from a window in the northwest corner of my place. My sister's going to try to get Caleb, the contractor we're considering using, to come by someday not too far into next week so I can give him a copy of the plans I drew up and ask him some questions about a couple of things. If we can get a clear enough written definition of what he's going to do for what price I'll probably gamble that he knows more about carpentry, which is what he spends most of his time doing, than about building temporary pens for horses.

***

Don't even think of scaling the drawing. Click it for a bigger version if you want to.

Here's a rough idea what I have in mind. The house and garage are already here. "My place" and the short hallway connecting it to the garage are what I intend to have built next spring. "My place" will be a self-contained apartment, complete with bath and kitchen. Water, and possibly electricity, will come through the same meter(s) as for the house. (I may or may not end up with my own electric meter.) Paying to have an apartment custom built and then living out my years in it makes a lot more sense to me than paying rent to someone else. After I'm gone my sister can rent the place out and/or, eventually, live in it herself with one of her sons living in the main house.

***

A follow-up on that last post. My sister talked to the gent who owns the field between us and the highway and he's not interested in selling or leasing it. That doesn't necessarily mean we can't still go into the miniature horse business but it means we can't have more than two or three (if one's a colt) at one time. It also complicates the question of who gets which part of the pasture. Sunshine's good natured enough that I don't think he'd ever intentionally hurt another animal, other than a dog trying to bite him or something, but with his vision problem he could hurt one accidentally; obviously we'd have to at least isolate him from any newborn colts till they were getting around well enough to stay out of his way. A lot's going to depend on how much money I really end up with and how much it costs to do and buy some other things I consider more important. My sister thinks she could make money in the long run raising and selling colts but I don't know how realistic that really is.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 30, 2007 at 03:06 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 28 November 2007
 

Getting some crazy ideas at the Circle F

... or, Daring to dream little.

I don't know why I didn't just laugh it off when I first heard my sister's idea about breeding miniature horses, but I made the mistake of listening. Imagine, if you can, a horse the size of German Shepherd or Lab. Supposedly they only eat about a tenth as much as a full sized horse and you can run at least three or four of them in an acre of pasture. I'm willing to at least think about it but we need to do some more research on the subject; questions like is it possible to overfeed them? The conventional wisdom around here is that a full sized horse can't eat too much grass or hay but I'm not sure that's true of miniatures.

It's a long shot but I'm going to have my sister call the neighbor across the highway and see if there's any way I could buy or lease part of the land between our place and the road from him.; she says the last time she talked to him he was pleased to hear we were going to have a horse here again. He bought the field between us and the road way back to eliminate any chance of it being developed and deliberately set a price he knew wouldn't be accepted when that contractor/developer who bought the field behind us wanted it. I suspect that if I promised in writing that it wouldn't have anything on it but a fence, a small barn and a horse or two for at least as long as my daughter lives he'd sell it to me for a lot less than he wanted for it from the other guy but it may still be out of reach. I'd have to have at least a ten year lease on it to spend the money to fence it; I know we could go with a shorter lease and he'd renew it when the time comes but he and his wife are both old enough (He's a  WW2 vet) that I might end up having to deal with his kids. We got along fine when they were younger -- His daughter was flat insulted when I started dating someone else instead of waiting till she was old enough -- but we haven't had any contact with them for years.

Now Kyra's having kittens. Like we need more cats around here. Her milk dried up before either of her other two litters were old enough to make it on their own but if that happens this time maybe we can get Tigger to adopt this batch.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 28, 2007 at 10:55 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Zoloft was making me sleepy.

I haven't had one since yesterday morning and this is the farthest into the day I've made it without a nap since Friday; I started the Zoloft yesterday morning.

We took Sunshine out in the big field for an hour or so; not as long as we have in the past but the weather today was far from ideal for it. I learned something else I'm better off not trying to do on the way back to the house; I tried to tighten a clothes line I'm tired of ducking under and immediately had blood floating around in my right eyeball. I checked my blood pressure after I'd been in for a few minutes and it's not up, but apparently it went up for at least a little bit. Now I know.

We talked about barns and watering tubs a little while we were out with Sunshine and decided against running water and electric lines to the barn when we build it. That will save some money but mainly it'll save walking to the barn and back in bad weather. Instead I'll have whoever builds my apartment put a freeze-proof hydrant and an outdoor electrical outlet in the edge of the yard right next to the pasture. Sunshine gets around a lot better than I do and it won't hurt him to come up to the fence to get water like he has been all along.

I've also rethought the floor plan for my apartment again. I've been trying to allow for a queen-size bed and a hide-a-bed similar to the one we have in the front room and there's just no way to do that without making the whole apartment bigger than I want to. I asked my sister -- I knew she'd know since she did the shopping for a replacement sofa after that fire we had in Feb. of '06 -- and she says hide-a-beds don't have to be as big as the one she bought then. I can't find any online but she says they also come in love seat and easy chair sizes. I'd had it in my head that I wanted Heather and Ryan and Ian, and Amia and Imbri, to be able to sleep in my room when they come up but I think it makes more sense to just say if I have to pay for motel rooms to get them to all come up I'll do that. They were all here Labor Day weekend and I want them all back next year, to see how much Sunshine's calmed down since he's been here and how the place has will have changed but then.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 28, 2007 at 04:38 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tuesday, 27 November 2007
 

The Sun! The Sun!

It's still not exactly toasty out but it's really not all that bad if you dress for it.

Still no word from Publisher's Clearing House. --- I'll sleep better once I have something in writing saying I won my Social Security case. I guess in a way they're doing me a favor by not moving faster. Every month I don't get my money is one more month added to the back-settlement. In the mean time I keep getting my Veterans Pension. Christmas isn't going to be as nice as I wish it could be but between the money my ex still owes my sister for taking care of Sunshine and some money we're going to borrow against my brother-in-law's life insurance it's not going to be too bad. I won't have money to send my grandson much of anything but I'll make it up to him when I go down there next spring.

We've redesigned Sunshine's barn again. It occurred to me when I caught a few seconds of an animal rescue show my sister was watching earlier that in in the summer he'd be better off without walls so the air can move through whatever we build him. As it stands now, I'm going to put up an 8' by 12' roof with no walls, then when it starts getting cold next fall I'll hang canvas tarps over both ends and two thirds of each side as wind breaks. Then come spring we'll take the tarps down and store them someplace safe (the old barn?) till spring.  ... ... Even if I had the money to do it this fall my hired muscle's in Indianapolis helping remodel a motel. ... ...  I think maybe the best way to store the tarps in the summer is to roll them up and hang them from the sides of the barn, maybe without even unhooking the top edges. I have plenty of time to think about it.  ... My best guess at this point, based on an Excel spreadsheet, puts the total cost of a barn like I have in mind just under $700.

My sister's already starting to dream about having more than one horse around here. Specifically, she's thinking we should start raising miniature horses for income. A decision to be made later if I still have any money left. We might try it with the understanding that if they don't get along with Sunshine he stays and they go.

***

It's unreal the amount of sleep my body thinks it needs recently. It occurred to me this afternoon that the problem seemed to have started about the time I started that Zoloft prescription. I'm off the stuff, effective right now. If I don't feel peppier by the first of the week I guess I'll call my doctor in Evansville and arrange to have my blood pressure and potassium checked, as a minimum. I don't really have a lot of important demands on my time between now and when I get that Social Security check but if I've developed some new health problem I want to get it under control soon, before it turns into something major.

I realized a couple of hours ago that with Sunshine's vision problems I need to make the walls on his barn permanent so he's more likely to realize the posts supporting the roof are there. I think I'll stick with the tarps for walls anyway; they'll be easier to put up and softer to run into if Sunshine forgets they're there. Having walls year round will also provide a place to hide from blowing rain or hail, and if he wants a shady spot with a breeze the old barnlot will still be there.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 27, 2007 at 02:43 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 26 November 2007
 

Another drab, dreary day at the Circle F

I know summers over and springs a few months off, but would a little sunshine be too much to hope for? I don't know whether I'm just down from the dreary weather of if I need to call my doctor about getting my potassium level and blood pressure checked. It's unreal how much sleep I seem to need lately.

I really am trying to spend more time on OWD things and less planning for next spring but something popped into my head earlier today that sent me back to the web shopping for cars. For some reason it clicked that the salesman I talked to a few days ago said the Dodge Stratus had been discontinued but the Chrysler Sebring, which is very similar, is still in production. A quick look at the dealer's web site yielded the information they have several new and slightly-used 2007 models in stock, as well as some new 2008s. I hit Chrysler's site for more info on the Sebring and found out, among other things, that it has a fold-flat front passenger seat and fold-down rear seats. Not exactly a truck but at least the ability to haul a couple of fence posts or a roll of wire in a pinch. A little more research, with that knowledge in mind, revealed the Dodge Avenger has the same features. Since the Stratus is out of production I wasn't able to find out whether the '07 Stratus does the same thing but I suspect it does. I'm leaning more and more toward figuring that next spring I'll end up with one of the three.

***

I think a lot of my state of confusion lately is just trying to think about too much at once and realizing how crazy things are going to get around here for a while after I get that check next spring. I'm in too big a hurry for everything at once to just not start thinking about it till the money's actually here, which would probably be healthier. I want a car I feel good about driving again, and a place of my own, so bad I can taste it.

As soon as my Social Security comes through it's going to make sense for my sister to cut way back on the hours she's been working. Mom needs her to be around more, her son needs her to be around more, and with the problems I have carrying on a phone conversation I need her to be free to do some things for me.

Just a partial list of what needs to happen when I get that money:

• Send money to Soldiers' Angels, Valour-IT and Media Mythbusters like I promised
• Pay Aunt Patty and Aunt Pug back what we owe them
• Buy Mom a decent hearing aid
• Have the rest of the gas lines under the house replaced so we don't have another fire
• Get Dad's truck back on the road, fixed up at least well enough to haul fence posts, wire, lumber, etc. home from Vincennes; it would make more sense financially to just rent a truck now and then but getting Dad's running will please Mom and that's reason enough to do it. I know it needs an alternator and I don't know what the clunking noise in the front end is; it could be as simple as a broken shock or it could be something more complicated. Even after it's fixed I may still rent a truck or hire Danny and his friend to haul things for me rather than leave town in something I'm not sure I trust.
• Fence the rest of the pasture, including a nice-looking wood fence across the front of it like Daddy would have built if his health had held out a little longer
• Have someone who knows what they're doing trim the hedge to a reasonable height; it's obvious no one living here has both the inclination and the physical ability and it's bugging the hell out of Mom.
• Buy myself a new or almost-new car I don't have to share with anyone else
• Have my apartment out back built
• Buy a decent wireless router
• Buy a decent laptop computer and figure out wireless networking
• Buy a decent swing set for Ian and Maddy and Noah to play on when they're here.
• Have some gravel hauled in to fill the holes in the drive -- another job for Taylor and Eric?

***

Two more early purchases:

• A decent chain saw for trimming trees and brush before we build a new fence. It'll also be handy for trimming boards to just the right length when we build the new barn, trimming fence posts to just the right height when we build the wooden fence, etc.
• A decent fridge for Mom's kitchen. I just hope the one that's in there now lasts till I have my money.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 26, 2007 at 10:24 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sunday, 25 November 2007
 

A drab, dreary day at the Circle F

Light rain, overcast, no letup in sight, apparently. I went out long enough to make sure Sunshine had water but didn't hang around long. I'm not looking forward to being cooped up inside all winter, or to the brief forays I'll have to make out in the cold for the horse's benefit.

This place isn't big enough for the number of people living here and I guess it started seeming smaller when I found out there's light at the end of the tunnel. Having my own place again will seem like Heaven.

***

Am I just getting lazy? I don't know how I could need a nap as long as the one I took this afternoon after sleeping as long as I did last night. I think I've been sitting here a little chilly all day; I thought I had the thermostat set right where I kept it last year but maybe I'm wrong. I may need to get in the habit of keeping it a couple of degrees warmer during the day than I do when I'm trying to sleep.

***

I'm going through some major mood swings; don't know if I should have started the Zoloft sooner, or not at all. Right now I'm sitting here heap highly pissed about still having to pinch pennies when the government owes me as much money as it does. It's been well over three years since I first applied for SSDI benefits and it's still going to be at least another three months before I get my first check. There's no excuse for it taking over two years from the time I requested a hearing with an Administrative Law Judge till I actually had my day in court. This house feels more cramped by the day and there's nothing I can do about it for now.

***

I just found a Benefits Calculator on Social Security's web site and fed it some approximate numbers for the years I was paying into Social Security -- I don't have actual records for the most important years any more. I think I was reasonably conservative about how much I told it I'd made for most of the years that matter and it says my Disability income works out to just over $1800/month. Even if the actual number is ten or 15 percent lower than that, my estimate of how much I have coming for the time I've been disabled isn't too unrealistic. It also says my income after I turn 66 will still be just over $1700. I'm not going to have the sort of retirement income I would have if my salary had continued on it's Cold War trajectory but at least I'll have a roof over my head and food on the table. Fortunately my benefit will be based on my three best earnings years, when I was a Technical Staff Member at Rockwell-Collins, and not on my income the last few years I worked.

***

Having a firmer idea how much I have coming just makes it that much harder to be patient. Right now, what I want more than anything is my own kitchen so I can eat whatever I want, whenever I get the urge.

***

It's well past midnight but it's still Sunday to me. I think I'm still hyped up after finding something to back my three or four year old recollection of what my last automatic Social Security statement said I'd be entitled to if I became disabled. Figured from July '03 to whenever they get around to sending it to me it comes to enough money to have my apartment built out back of the garage, and buy a nice new or nearly-new car, and fence the rest of the pasture, including a pretty wood fence across the front, and build Sunshine a decent barn, and do some traveling, at least enough to visit my daughter and her family now and then, and, and ...

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 25, 2007 at 12:44 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Saturday, 24 November 2007
 

Going slowly nuts at the Circle F; gotta shake it off

I got out and around just long enough to fill Sunshine's water tub. If it was 20 or 30 degrees warmer it would be a great time to just sit in the back yard and think for a while, but it isn't.

Am I going to have to go see my shrink to get back into some sort of normal routine? For over three years I managed to pour myself into my blogging and not think too much about the Social Security issue. So now that I know I won my case, why can't I do that a little longer instead of sitting around making plans for next spring? There will be some time next spring and summer when I'm legitimately wrapped up in fences and barns and new apartments, etc, but that's no excuse not to be productive between now and then. I owe it to some people who helped us through some very lean times, and to the Dog who still owns the computer I'm using right now. (For those of you who've forgotten that story, one of the Old War Dogs sent me a computer so I'd have one I didn't have to share, on the theory it would make me a better webmaster for the OWD site.)

I thought when my new Zoloft prescription arrived two days after my Social Security hearing I'd just not start on it since I knew things were looking up. I changed my mind and took my first dose a few minutes ago. I'm supposed to take half a pill daily for the first week, then a whole pill (50 mg) daily from then on, so it will be a while before I'm likely to feel any difference but maybe it will help. For now I'm going to try to force myself to devote more time to my normal blogging and to get started on the project The Gray Dog and I have been discussing.

***

I think I just created my first post on The Gray Dog's test site.  It may take a couple of iterations to get it right, then we'll announce what other site besides Old War Dogs I'm going to be posting on.

I didn't mention that Tigger had her first litter of kittens last night. Not that we needed more cats but she and Smokey apparently thought we did. So far she's being a very attentive mother.

***

I know I said I was going to start concentrating more on my Politics and National Defense blogging, and I am, but something occurred to me while I was updating my latest Old War Dogs post: Things could change before I get that big check next spring but for now the price difference between a laptop with a 15.4" screen and one with a 17" screen exceeds the cost of a 17" LCD monitor purchased separately. Plus, a laptop with a smaller screen is more portable for times I'm on the road, like the Texas/New Mexico trip I plan to take next spring. Plus, the difference in price between a 17" LCD monitor and a 19" is only $30.00, and another $10.00 beyond that gets you up to 20 inches. My plan for now is to buy a 15.4" notebook and a separate monitor, keyboard and mouse, then take just the notebook along when I travel.

***

Well, according to weather.com it's 29 out, headed for a low of 30. Oops.  According to their hour-by-hour we're seeing the overnight low right now, looking at a high of almost 50 tomorrow. It's beautiful out; a full moon with nary a cloud, or tree leaf, to block it. I went out and walked around for a few minutes; it's not bad at all if you dress for it. If I'm going to be responsible for horse care in the winter I may need to come up with some thermal long johns but not yet.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 24, 2007 at 02:09 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Friday, 23 November 2007
 

Winter comes to the Circle F ...

... right on schedule it seems. Inconvenient Falsehoods not withstanding, from the time I was a wee lad winter weather has arrived in this area sometime on Thanksgiving weekend almost every year. My sister says she saw some snowflakes last night but if she did I missed them. I went outside just long enough as soon as I was half way awake to make sure Sunshine had liquid water available; he did and I came right back in. It's supposed to be about 10 degrees warmer later this afternoon than it is now and I'll go out then to fill his tub, then disconnect the nozzle from the hose and walk the water out of it so it doesn't burst tonight. Weather.com says I can just leave the hose alone Sunday night, then walking the water out of it will be part of my daily routine for the foreseeable future. I'm not sure if we can get by with doing that all winter or if we'll end up having to disconnect the hose and start carrying water from in the house. By this time next year I intend to have a freeze-proof hydrant and heated tub in the barn so all I have to do is go out and turn the hydrant on long enough to fill the tub every day.

I think I'm closer than I was to having the anchor points for Sunshine's "roof" identified; something clicked as I was headed back to the house from making sure he had water. The way the available trees are arranged I can't get by with anchor lines going off all four corners of the tarp to appropriate trees; I need to go with one line each on three corners and two lines going off at different angles from the third corner; on of those may have to be anchored the old barn but that will work. (Don't ask me to explain that in detail; I'd have to go into Solid Geometry and force vectors and things like that only a fellow geek engineer would understand, and I'm too lazy to try to draw a diagram of it.) It also occurred to me that I should plan on using nylon "parachute cord" instead of rope; it's just as strong and will stretch less. Weather.com says I have at least ten days before the job becomes urgent and I may wait till I get my pension check on the first to do it; if it looks like I can get away with it I may wait another couple of days and combine a trip to pay back payday loans on the 3rd with a trip to TSC to buy a tarp; oh, for the days I could drive all week on two dollars worth of gas. (Oops. Did I just date myself? Gas really was 24.9/gallon in Austin when I got back from Nam.) btw, the way the available anchor points work out means I'll be putting a roof over a portion of the barnlot just through the gate from the back yard, not over the part of the temporary pen that's still there; I may change my mind about that between now and when the job actually gets done.

I'm sitting here bored crazy wishing I already had the money for all the things I have planned for next spring. I started to make the rounds online window-shopping for a nice laptop, then realized the market is changing fast enough that today's latest and greatest will already be old news three months from now. Having done tech support for HP/Compaq there's no way I'll buy anything from them; we weren't even allowed to do it right in Dallas; how likely is it that things have improved since they moved their call center to Canada and their email center to India? I was very impressed with the way Gateway handled things when we had problems with the family PC -- They basically trusted my diagnosis and sent me the new power supply I said we needed -- so they're strong candidates; I also liked the way they did things during the brief period when we were doing their tech support in Dallas. OTOH, knowing if I buy something at Wal-Mart and it has problems right out of the box they'll buy it back or swap me for one that works is something to consider; there are three Wal-Mart Supercenters within 25 miles of me and a new one going up next-door (which probably won't be open yet by the time I'm ready to buy).

***

Definitely not a "sit in the back yard and relax" day. Vicki and Cordell went out just long enough to give Sunshine some Sweet Feed and didn't even stick around to watch him enjoy it. I watered him then took the nozzle off the hose and walked the water out of it but that was about all the fresh air I wanted. We're supposed to have some 50s days Sunday and Monday, and all the way up to 60 Wednesday, but I think the days of enjoying being outside are over till spring.

***

I feel totally wiped out with no obvious excuse. It can't be from sleeping cold last night because I didn't. Just after-effects from yesterday? I took an hour and a half nap before supper and tried for another after supper but couldn't sleep. I feel like I could take my pills and crash for the night right now but Mom's still up and I need to hold on till I know she got to bed safely.

I've rethought the barn situation again. Two points that popped into my head while I was trying to take a second nap:

• The canvas and rope arrangement I was considering the last couple of day wouldn't hold up to the kind of snows we get around here.

• Hail, which is my sister's main concern, is a spring and summer thunderstorm phenomenon, not something that happens during the winter.

For now I'm not going to do anything beyond the wind breaks I already have up. With a little luck I'll have my Social Security money in time to do something I like before it becomes important, and if I don't I can still do the canvas thing after I'm confident we've had our last snow.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 23, 2007 at 12:56 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Thursday, 22 November 2007
 

A hectic day at the Circle F

Not so much for me -- I'm just doing my best to stay out of the way -- but for my sister. Thanksgiving is the one day a year she and her oldest son insist we have to sit around the dining room table and eat a big meal together. Since the dining room table is in my room, that involves clearing a bunch of clutter. My sister's youngest grandson is sick so I guess the only people here this year will be people who live here.

It's not as cold yet as I expected it to be. I actually stayed outside for about half an hour after I watered Sunshine, sitting and trying to plan out the canvas roof I'm going to hang over the barnlot. -- Scotty still has the check I gave him for his help with the fence project and said this morning he has no intention of cashing it till closer to Christmas when he's ready to go shopping. His promise to hold on to that check till after the 1st of the month frees up enough of what's left in my bank account to cover the cost of Sunshine's roof, so maybe we can start on that sooner than I thought; otherwise it was going to have to wait till the 1st.

***

Blew off my diet for a day, ate three times as much as I should have for supper.  Tried to sleep it off but got a leg cramp just as I almost drifted off; probably due to the bending and squatting I did in the barnlot yesterday but why the delayed reaction? Sitting here feeling stuffed and drowsy but I need to stay awake until Mom's in bed; my sister's had a bigger day than I have and no nap along the way. In the process of clearing out clutter so we could sit around the table we got things cleared out enough around the through-the-wall heater in the corner of the room that I can run it at night without starting a fire; I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept well because I was chilly but tomorrow should be better and I don't have anything in particular I need to do beyond watering the horse.

***

Still spending some time sitting around thinking about my apartment I intend to have added on next spring. If the numbers on Wikipedia are to be believed, an 802.11g signal has plenty of range to reach from where I'm sitting now to where I'm most likely to want to access the internet in my new place. Our cable modem and VoIP box sit on the top shelf of my computer desk and if I could afford it I'd add a router to the stack last week. We have one ethernet output from the modem, which goes to the Vonage VoIP box, which doubles as a router. The problem with that setup is that when Vonage has problems neither of the computers connected to the Vonage box can access the internet; I can bypass the Vonage box to get one computer at a time online but not both. The better arrangement would be for the cable modem to feed a router, which would feed the Vonage box and both PCs.  The logical thing to do when I get my Social Security back settlement is to buy a combination 802.11g/ethernet router and connect the VoIP box and both PCs in the house to it via cable, then access it wirelessly from my place. If I feel really energetic I might try to replace the cable from here to the PC in the other end of the house with a wireless link as well but everyone's gotten so used to the cable being there that I may not bother; I could end up walking a lot of steps back and forth through the house trying to get it set up right. I'm planning to buy a notebook computer for use in my apartment and on the road so bringing it closer to this one till I get the network working won't be any big deal.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 22, 2007 at 03:00 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 21 November 2007
 

I guess the "barn" issue isn't so settled after all

Not a totally lazy day, but I didn't get all that much done either.

I managed to drag my butt to the Vincennes TSC after I got enough coffee in me this morning to buy a 50 lb. bag of "sweet feed" for the horse. I wasn't outside when he got his first taste of it but Cordell says it was a hit. While I was at TSC I educated myself a little about "hydrants," the proper name apparently for the "freeze-proof faucets" I knew I'd read about somewhere but couldn't remember where (Actually what I read was in their catalogue.  Doh.). They aren't expensive; the main cost for putting one in the barn I have built next summer will be the labor to run pipe to it.

I pretty much waited till the last minute, mainly because I couldn't get Scotty to get excited about it, but I got some plastic tarps hung over part of what's left of the temporary pen to provide Sunshine with somewhere to get out of the wind. We'll see how they hold up and decide later whether to spring for canvas tarps to replace them.

My sister announced this afternoon she's not going to let me get away with not providing Sunshine with some sort of roof this winter. Mainly she's wanting sleet and hail protection. Once I realized she wasn't going to let the matter slide I sat outside for a while (probably the last time it's going to be reasonable weather for it till spring) and came up with the kernel of a less expensive design than any of my earlier ones. We have sturdy trees in more or less the right positions around the barnlot to stretch ropes from all four corners of a canvas tarp to points high enough on 4 trees to support the tarp far enough from the ground for a horse to walk under. If I make two of the diagonally opposing corners higher than the other two I should be able to create a "peaked roof" that water will run off of and not pool in the middle. Just eyeballing the situation without being able to experiment yet I think I can arrange things so the "dry" area I create is more or less centered over the windbreaks I hung this afternoon.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 21, 2007 at 08:50 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Still busy makin' plans.

I've got to get on some sort of reasonable sleeping schedule but I don't know how to do it. I was up into the wee hours yesterday morning, decided it was time to get up before I was really ready, went back to bed from about 12:30 to 1:30, managed to make myself half-way useful for a while, then crashed again from about 6:00 to about 9:00. Now here I am awake when everyone else is sleeping again.

Some thoughts about the new place for my future reference and the contractor's:

• Wal-Mart's web site lists a 12,000 BTU air conditioner/heater for $398.00. -- I'd been saying before that I'd just use space heaters but I think the combo AC/heater makes sense. I'd just been trying to avoid having to make space for a separate built-in heater.

• I'm going to need 230 V circuits for the cooking range, AC, and possibly the water heater. I probably don't need over two 115 V circuits but I'm so tired of messing with blown breakers -- there wasn't any way to add a new circuit when Dad added a room for Grandma in 1970, which has caused some major headaches the past few months -- that I'd prefer three or four, and I don't want to ever be more than 5 ft from an outlet. The new place is going to need it's own breaker box, and it may make sense for it to have it's own meter; it probably does since I expect it to become rental property after I'm gone.

• I've made a conscious point of putting everything that requires any plumbing near the east end of the apartment. It looks to me like it will make sense to tie into the water and septic lines under or near the hall bath in the main house and that minimizes the distances involved. There will be water lines in the west wall of the entry hallway, the north wall of the kitchen, in the west wall of the walk-in closet, and under the entry hall floor, all of which could be cut through if necessary to get to replace a broken line, etc.

• It isn't noted on any of the drawings I've done yet but I want a water faucet on the outside of the east wall of the entry hall. I also want provisions made for tapping into the water line to the apartment so I can add a line to a barn later. (I'm still planning to build a barn with a freeze-proof faucet and heated water tub before it turns cold next fall.)

• I need to spend some time later figuring out how much it would cost to have paneling instead of just painted drywall walls.  Lowe's sells some decent looking stuff for $12.13 per 4x8 sheet.  ... 1st approximation: (2 x 17 + 2 x 41) x $12.13 / 4 = $230.47. Small change compared to what I'm spending on the whole deal. ... It doesn't make sense to panel the kitchen, bath, or hallway; I'll have to decide later how much of the rest of the place I want paneled.

I don't know how I could be so tired this soon after that three hour nap but I am. Later.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 21, 2007 at 12:51 AM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tuesday, 20 November 2007
 

Your government at work

I went to the Social Security website last week and requested a statement showing what my SSDI amount would be. Today I got an envelope in the mail that looked just like the ones I used to get statements in every year. It was empty; very helpful. I called the 1-800 number on the outside of the envelope and spent a good twenty minutes on hold and screwing around with a bunch of voice menus before I ever got to a live human being. She said at first she could give me the information on the phone, then when she looked up my file she said that where the number should have been it said "Unavailable. Case pending." Supposedly she mailed me form to fill out requesting the information. We'll have to see if it actually gets here and if sending it in actually accomplishes anything.

I stayed up later than I should be again, making plans for money I still wonder if I'll ever actually see. Even before I got too sick to work I was barely hanging on; I didn't land on my feet after the big defense industry shakeout at the end of the Cold War. A computer programming gig here, a tech support job there, just enough to keep the wolf from the door. Then when my job was exported in '03 and I couldn't find anything else due to my health problems I found out things really could get worse after all. Now the logical part of my mind knows things are going to get better in 3 or 4 months but I'm still having trouble believing it. After the Social Security assholes worked as hard as they did to avoid giving me what I had coming I still don't quite have myself completely convinced they won't find a way to put the screws to me yet. I guess I'll finally believe it when I have that big check next spring in my hands and the bank verifies it's really good.

I think, for now at least, that I have the final pass at a floor plan for my apartment done. Maybe I can have the contractor I'm thinking of using look it over sometime before too long and tell me whether there's anything fundamentally wrong with it, and maybe give me a better idea what it will cost to have it built. I guess that's something else I'll be a little nerved up about for a while longer. When he quoted me the estimated price he did earlier did he really understand what I had in mind? How much will the price go up when I show him my drawings and ask for a formal quote? I'm not asking for a big place -- about 17 by 21 feet -- but I want a self-contained home, complete with kitchen, bath, etc, that I could live in even if it wasn't just a short walk to Mom's place. I want my own fridge and a car in the drive I don't need to make an appointment to drive. Is that asking too much?

***

Two more changes since I thought that floor plan was done. I finally woke up to the fact that the roofline would be a lot simpler if I made the apartment a perfect rectangle instead of notching out one corner like I'd intended to, and the fact that if my back door's going to be at the end of the hallway from the garage there's no reason the east wall's of the bathroom and garage need to line up with each other. Together, those two realizations add up to a walk-in closet; it won't be as close to the bedroom and bathroom as might be ideal but nothing in the whole place is going to be very far from anything else.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 20, 2007 at 05:28 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 19 November 2007
 

We have hay again!

The guy whose barn Sunshine lived in for the first few weeks after his eyes went bad showed up with a 1,000 lb. hay bale about 11:00 or so, before I was even fully awake. I guess he started this way with some yesterday but didn't have it properly secured and it blew out of the truck about half way here. Anyway, Sunshine's happy. Me, I like hay a lot better when it's where the horse can get to it without help than when I have to throw it over the fence into a little pen. It's supposed to be almost 70 this afternoon and we may take him out in the part of the field that isn't fenced yet just to give him a treat but at least now we won't feel like we have to because he's hungry.

I've made two non-trivial design changes to my apartment floor plan so far this morning. Instead of that hallway from the garage to my place being unheated I've decided to put my back door near the north end of it. Walk out of the garage and turn left to get to the back yard, or open the door straight ahead of you to get to the hallway. There will still be a door-sized opening from my kitchen to the hallway but there won't be a door in it. Instead of having a window over the kitchen sink I'll have it on the east wall of the hallway where the view's less obstructed. Since there won't be a window over the sink, the hallway may as well be extended to create a closet opening into it. Walk out of the garage and turn left to go outside or continue straight through my back door. Walk about 8 feet and turn right into the kitchen or continue straight into a closet.

***

Don't scale the drawing. Up is east:

***

We took Sunshine out in the big field for a couple of hours. My sister will be going to my nephew's DARE graduation tomorrow afternoon and it looks like tomorrow may be the last nice day we have before it turns mean out, so today may have been his last taste of fresh grass till spring.

We made a couple of more design changes while we were sitting out in the field. First we decided the gap between the garage and my place (labeled "outside" in the drawing) might as well have a roof over it for tool and lawn mower storage. We also decided the east wall of my "entry hall" can be east of the east end of the garage; walk out of the garage and turn left to go outside or turn left and then right to get into my place. That improves the view out my east window without messing up the view out my sister's south window enough to upset her. It also moves my west wall east by a corresponding amount  to miss a tree stump in the back yard that could be a problem otherwise.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 19, 2007 at 12:18 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sunday, 18 November 2007
 

A tired, lazy day at the Circle F

I stayed up way later than I should have last night drawing up a preliminary floor plan for my apartment, then spotted three things wrong with it so far today.

Sunshine only got about 45 minutes out in the big field today. I know it isn't winter yet but it's plenty cool enough for sitting around outside not to be much fun. Cordell let him through the gate for me and came back inside, then came back out later just long enough to lead him back to the little field. I truly believe he'd follow Cordell anywhere, no lead rope or corn bribes needed. It's supposed to get up to 70 degrees tomorrow, as opposed to 49 today, so if we have to take Sunshine out for more grass it won't be as big a deal. With any luck at all we should have more hay here before it turns mean again Thursday.

***

7:15 PM and I'm sitting here going slowly nuts, waiting till the kitchen table's available so I can revise my floor plan. Now that the end's in site, maybe it's safe to admit to myself how I hate not being able to eat when I damned well please, or shower, or shit, or just sit someplace with decent lighting and do paperwork. When that money gets here next spring, I'll remember my sister took me in when I didn't have any place else to go, and went farther and farther in the hole feeding me till my VA pension came through. I'll also remember what a self-centered SOB her husband has been, trying to treat me like some sort of charity case even after I started contributing more to the family budget than it costs for me to be here, needing almost daily reminders that he doesn't own one nail or shingle of this house and never will.

***

I think maybe I have my final floor plan for my apartment I want built next spring done. The biggest "mistake" I spotted in the first one I did was that it extended a few feet west of the end of the garage, which already extends west (and south) of the rest of the house. I tried a couple of alternative approaches to try to stay within the east-west boundaries defined by the ends of the garage but couldn't come up with anything I liked. Finally I asked my sister (who'll the whole place will eventually belong to) how big a deal it would seem like to her if my place jutted out past the garage and she said it wouldn't bother her at all. Problem solved. Some random comments on the design; I never learned to use any sort of CAD program and for now at least I'm too lazy to scan my drawing:

• The door that currently opens from the garage to the back yard will instead open into the end of a 12 ft long north-south hallway. Take a left just after you walk out of the garage and you're in the back yard. Walk down the hallway and take a right at the last moment and you're standing in my new kitchen.

• The bathroom (my very own bathroom!) occupies the northeast corner of the apartment, with the door on the west side, opening out toward the bed. -- The reason that hallway's 12 ft long is you have to walk past the bathroom before you get to my back door.

• The kitchen (my very own kitchen!) occupies the southeast corner of the apartment. As you walk in the door from the east the kitchen sink is on your left, against the east wall. Next to the sink is just enough counter space for  a coffee maker and a toaster, in the corner of the room. Coming west along the south wall there's a range and a refrigerator. The remainder of the south wall, another 11.5 feet, is a counter 30.5 inches from the floor, just the right height to use as a desk, computer table, etc. There'll be a microwave on it right next to the fridge and the rest of it's "office" space or whatever I decide later it needs to be.

• On the north wall, back to back with the end of the bathtub, is a closet with the door on the west side, toward the bed, which sits against the north wall.

• On the west wall is a door to the driveway and room for a hide-a-bed couch like we currently have in the Living Room. Yes, I allowed room to fold the bed out. I count enough bed space for my daughter and her husband and son to stay at my place if they come up next summer like they promised. If they bring their friend Amia and her daughter Imbri along -- which I hope they will -- I may have to move back to my old spot in the main house for a night or two but I can handle that.

• Windows:
  • One on the east side, over the kitchen sink. I won't be able to see as much of the pasture as I'd like to due to the external hallway and my sister's room, but I'll be able to see part of it. Until we get some trees or a privacy hedge started I'll also have a "great" view of the back of the new Wal-Mart Supercenter.
  • On the south side, looking out toward the back yard.
  • On the west side, looking out toward the driveway and the woods beyond it.
  • On the north side, looking up the lane toward the highway. The view will be partially blocked by the garage but at least I'll be able to see up the lane and tell if traffic's moving on the road.

• I'll have a an air conditioner installed somewhere above the counter down the south side of the room, probably more or less lined up with the bed. As I noted in an earlier post, I'm not making any provisions for heating except to make sure I have enough outlets, and enough amps available, to distribute space heaters as needed. I'll also have a heater/exhaust fan in the bathroom ceiling.

We have a scanner around here somewhere but I don't think it's been used since we moved "the family PC" to the other end of the house. Maybe I'll get energetic sometime soon and scan my floor-plan drawing. Or, maybe I'll just wait and post some pictures of my new place after I have it built.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 18, 2007 at 03:13 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Saturday, 17 November 2007
 

Slaving away at the Circle F

We're all but out of hay -- 1st the fields were wet then Deer Season started -- and not expecting any more till Monday. The part of the pasture we have fenced is looking pretty well manicured so we've been trying to give Sunshine as much time as we can manage in the part that won't be fenced till spring. That's me, above, "feeding the horse." You can see how hard I'm working at it. Here are a couple more shots for good measure. Click any of the three to see it bigger.

I'm over whatever was going on with my back and neck yesterday but I still have the drags. I more or less have my new apartment designed in my mind; I need to take a tape measure to some things before I commit anything to paper. I think I'm going to allow space for a double bed, couch, etc that I won't use but which will make the place easier to rent after I'm done with it. I might even go ahead and buy a hide-a-bed couch so there's enough sleeping space for my daughter and her family to stay there instead of a motel when they come to visit.

***

Some thoughts about my apartment to refer back to later:

• I can't think of any reason I need to run a gas line to the apartment. Gas prices are going up and when America finally comes to it's senses about nuclear power electricity prices will come down.

• I definitely want more "desk" and computer space than I have now. Right now the only place I have to write on paper or read a dead-tree book is the kitchen table. I think the answer is probably a long counter the appropriate height from the floor. Lowe's sells "countertop" by the foot; I think that might work well; "Just make it like a kitchen counter only lower.  --- I need to go get my tape measure after bit and define "lower."

• I think right now it makes sense to go with a wall-mounted air conditioner, or maybe two smaller ones at opposite ends of the place. (Question for later: Which wall?) Rather than try to plan in a space for a heater I think right now it makes sense to plan on portable space heaters, distributed and redistributed as needed. Note to self: Make sure you end up with enough separate electrical circuits to support everything. That's probably going to mean a separate breaker box for just the apartment; it may make sense in the long run to have it on a separate meter anyway. 

• I'll want a heat source in the bathroom. I think a combination exhaust fan/heater makes sense for that.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 17, 2007 at 03:33 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Friday, 16 November 2007
 

Draggin' around at the Circle F

I don't know if I'm feeling some effects from that fall night before last after all, or if I've picked up the bug my sister's had for the last few days, or maybe some of both. I was in bed by midnight last night, slept till almost noon, and still woke up feeling half dead. I think when I went to one knee and one hand on the floor the shock of my hand hitting the floor may have done something to my shoulder and my neck. I'm getting better as the day goes on but I'm still not back to normal. Maybe I'll feel more like blogging later; for now about all I'm up to is sitting around.

***

Spent the afternoon pretty much just moping around, crashed for a couple of hours about sundown, woke up feeling some better but still not exactly a bundle of energy.

Sunshine actually came up to the fence so I could scratch his head! We'll be good buddies yet. Of course earlier he came prancing up for the corn Cordell brought out, but still I'm making progress. In the process of coming after the corn he side-swipe the Martin-house pole out in that pasture. He's not seeing as well as we thought maybe he was, maybe not even at all. He somehow manages to stop just before he gets to the fence when he comes up to see us but I wonder if he's just judging where we are by sound and stopping before he gets there. There's a fire hydrant in the part of the pasture we haven't fenced yet -- years and years back it sat right beside U.S. 50 -- that it occurred to me tonight we need to fence around next spring. Walking nose first into a wire fence is bad enough but walking into that hydrant could be really bad news. I won't do it fancy, just four T-posts and about 8 feet of wire, but it needs to be done before he's turned loose in the big field.

It's crazy to be sitting around planning how to spend money it will be February or March before I see but I can't help it. A couple of thoughts:

• I'd had myself convinced for a while that after I got my apartment added on I'd have to get Charter Cable out to run cable to it then shell out for a second cable modem. It finally occurred to me that I can run an ethernet cable out through the wall right next to where the cable to the cable modem currently comes in and run it around the house to my place; it won't be any more unsightly than having the cable run that much farther around the house, which is what we'd end up with otherwise. Of course that means I don't have cable TV at my place but as long as they keep streaming presidential speeches, debates, etc I doubt that I'll even miss it. If my thinking changes, or if my sister wants cable run to the place after I'm gone, the decision isn't irreversible. I may spring for a second Vonage VoIP box or I may just decide all I need is a cell phone; with my hearing aids out I can't hear a phone ring anyway but I can feel a cell phone vibrate. At night I'll be unreachable unless something urgent enough happens that someone comes after me.

• My current thinking is that instead of buying a big SUV it makes more sense to have Dad's truck fixed up well enough I can use it to haul fence posts, wire, etc. I know that would make Mom happy, probably more so than being chauffeured around in something big and fancy and impractical. I did a "build your own" on Dodge's web site; it looks like the MSRP for a V-6 Avenger the way I'd want one set up is about $21,625, or about what I'd expect to pay for a not-too-used Magnum or Durango. I'll try to have sense enough to wait for not-too-used Avenger but if it starts getting close to time for my spring road trip I might even buy a new one. I know it won't hold its resale value as well as a car that's already "not new" when I buy it but if I'm the only one who drives it except on very rare occasions it will outlast me. I'm still open to the idea of buying a just-barely-used Stratus too, but right now the only one on the local dealer's web site is a factory-fresh 4 cylinder model; that's not enough engine for a car that size, which is probably why they still have it.

I just checked my SiteMeter for the first time in a couple of weeks. Seriously, folks. I'm averaging over 100 hits a day blogging about building fences and how I'm going to spend my Social Security? Apparently so. I didn't realize there were that many people who cared enough about me to wade through things like that. In case anyone missed the announcement earlier I'm doing all of my Politics and National Defense blogging at Old War Dogs now. For the foreseeable future I won't be writing about anything on this site but my personal life, which really ain't all that exciting (but thank you for coming by anyway and please do come back.)

***

A related thought that just popped into my mind for some reason: My second wife's folks owned a Chevy Suburban that I has occasion to drive now and then. Even back then, in spite of having driven bigger things in the Air Force, I was never quite comfortable tooling around town in the thing. I might or might not be able to adjust to driving a Magnum or Durango, but why bother? Dad's truck needs fixed, and it's worth fixing, if only because it was Dad's and fixing it will make Mom happy. If I'm going to have it fixed anyway, why buy a gas-guzzling monster I might never learn to like? The Avenger is my '73 Dodge Dart Sport, which I loved almost as much as my '78 LeBaron, brought up to date. Me want.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 16, 2007 at 03:19 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Thursday, 15 November 2007
 

The best laid plans ...

After I did that payday loan run yesterday we thought we'd be able to make it through the week, and maybe the month, without Mom having to borrow. Unfortunately, an insurance company that's supposed to take money out of my mother's and sister's bank account once per month did twice this month. My sister called them as soon as soon as she noticed the extra charge on the bank's web site; they couldn't explain why it had happened but said they didn't have the ability to reverse the transaction. My sister ended up agreeing to let them keep the money in return to not taking any during December and I ended up taking Mom to Vincennes.

I did some driving around looking at used cars on the way home and decided I liked the looks of the Chrysler Aspen/Dodge Durango. The Chrysler Pacifica's also nice but the Durango's the least expensive of the three. When I checked online I was surprised to find the MSRP on the Dodge Magnum's less than on the Durango but I have a feeling based on what I saw today and on the dealer's web site that my chances of finding a slightly used Durango in a reasonable length of time when I'm ready are probably a lot better than my chances of finding a slightly-used Magnum. As we pulled in the drive on the way home Mom asked what we were going to do with Dad's 1981 F-150. To be drivable at all it needs an alternator and there's something not right in either the front suspension or the steering linkage and to be very decent transportation again it needs an engine overhaul or transplant. On the other hand, it was Dad's and the only answer I could give Mom was that I'd get it rolling when my money gets here next spring. Of course doing that will take away one of my excuses for buying a Magnum or Durango instead of just a Stratus or Avenger; I still want something heavy enough to ride nice but if I get the truck fixed up I no longer need something else to haul fence posts and wire and lumber in. I'll have plenty of time to think it over between now and when I can actually do anything.

We plotted well and got Sunshine to prance from the barnlot to his corn bucket shortly after Cordell got home from school but I screwed up and didn't end up with a video of it; I have a  still shot that should have been the first frame of the video. Maybe tomorrow. The picture I'm posting (click it to see it bigger) is from right after he finished the corn Cordell took out for him. My brother and I built that wooden fence under Dad's supervision in the early '80s and as you can see it needs some work. One of the first things I've promised to do when my money gets here is to have all the broken and missing boards replaced and have a fence like it built down the front side of the pasture.

***

More thoughts on the car issue: When you buy a factory fresh new car its value drops substantially the moment you drive it off the lot; it's not "new" any more. I will be smart enough next spring not to buy a new car.  On the other hand, buying a car with 15,000 miles on it and selling it a year later wouldn't be that big a deal. If I buy a slightly-used Magnum or Durango next spring and decide a year later I should have settled for a Stratus or Avenger, the world won't end. I might well even be able to trade a used SUV for a newer smaller car and get cash back on the deal. At this point I feel reasonably sure that, unless I'm all wet about how big that first Socail Security check is going to be, next spring I'll end up in a slightly used Magnum or Durango and if it makes sense to trade for something smaller a year or two down the road so be it.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 15, 2007 at 07:30 PM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sittin' around waitin' at the Circle F

I don't know of anything in particular I have to do today; maybe I can even find some time for Old War Dogs, or for the project I told The Gray Dog I'd try to get started on when things calmed down a might.

A little rationale about the car situation: In the spring of 2005 when I started getting a VA pension I set out to buy what I figured would be the last car I'd ever need; buy something good, take care of it, it lasts. Even after the financing fell through on the Dodge Stratus I wanted and I ended up with a Chevy Malibu Classic instead, I still didn't expect to ever buy anything else. Then the engine in my sister's car blew up and I didn't have any real choice but to let "my" car become "the family car." Since then my sister's driven it for everything from getting her son to and from school to hauling her grandkids around to taking mom to and from medical appointments, my nephew's put a bunch of miles on it running around with his friends, and it's been involved in a minor accident and picked up so much general wear and tear that even if I buy my sister something else and have the Malibu cleaned up for my use  it will never feel like "my" car again. One last time in my life I want a car that I don't have to adjust the seat and mirrors on and clean someone else's clutter out of every time I get in it. In spite of my anger and frustration with Social Security, in a way they did me a favor by stalling as long as they did. I get to keep what the VA sent me while I was waiting on a decision from Social Security, plus everything Social Security should have paid me over the last 4 years. That means I have a few bucks to pamper myself a little. I think I have enough sense not to buy a factory-fresh new car, but if I can find one that's only been used gently for a few months and traded in on something newer I'm likely to go for it. Not necessarily the Magnum I've been talking about, but but something heavy enough to be nice to my back out on the road. I liked my '73 dart and '78 LeBaron well enough that it's probably going to be a Chrysler product. If I'm going to buy something bigger anyway, it might as well have the ability to haul fence posts and wire and lumber. I won't say yet that I won't end up with a pickup truck but I've tentatively narrowed the list down to the Dodge Magnum, Chrysler Pacifica, and Dodge Durango. A quick perusal of the local Chrysler-Dodge dealer's web site gives the impression that they get a lot more used Pacificas and Durangos than they do Magnums, which means the odds of finding something I like may be better if I think in those terms instead of focusing on just the Magnum.

Big day coming or not, I need some sleep. Later.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 15, 2007 at 01:38 AM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, 14 November 2007
 

Feelin' unnecessary at the Circle F

Went out about midnight to sit in the back yard and think about my apartment. When I got out there Sunshine was munching hay in the barnlot, right where he seems to spend most of his time here lately. After a few minutes he turned around and walked due east to a point east of the fence between the yard and the pasture, then turned north and walked straight to his water tub. After a few minutes there he started back down the fence, stopped straight across from where I was, stuck his head over the fence and "looked" at me like "What are you doin' just sittin' there? My head itches." After we got that taken care of he backed up about two steps and retraced his path back to his hay supply. So much for leading a horse to water.

***

I don't know why I'm so tired the last couple of days. Honest exhaustion from the fence project? Just not as keyed up as I was now that I know I won my Social Security case? Anyway I seem to be back to taking afternoon naps again.

I went to the payday loan place in Vincennes as soon as I was up and moving today. It burns my ass to no end having to do that again knowing how much money the government owes me. My sister and her oldest son were both in a deep funk this afternoon over money being so tight, which didn't make my day any brighter. A few minutes ago I told her to tell my him I'll hand him a $1,000 check, which won't be good till spring, the day he shows me his GED diploma. He has some major self-esteem problems and I think getting the diploma will do about as much for him as knowing someone besides his mother cares if he does. -- Of course that obligates me to do something I'd already planned to anyway and give my daughter a nice graduation gift when she finishes her degree, although I'll probably go ahead and give it to her and trust her to finish earning it. She and her husband had a new house built right before the housing market collapsed and have been struggling with two mortgage payments for several months now. Maybe I can make their lives a little brighter next spring if they can hold on that long.

I'll try hard to get a video soon of Sunshine prancing across the field like he does now and then (twice so far.) I need help, apparently Cordell's in particular, to get him to do it. I was out in the backyard when Cordell got home from school today. Sunshine heard the car coming down the lane and was waiting near the fence when Cordell got there. When Cordell headed to the house to get some cracked corn and alfalfa cubes Sunshine walked over by the barnlot gate thinking he'd meet Cordell there. Cordell fooled him by heading straight toward the feed bucket tied to the fence beside the yard and dumping the corn, etc into it over the fence. I really, really wish I had a video of Sunshine's high-stepping double-time down the side of the yard. Maybe we can plan ahead and get one soon.

I have a long time yet to think about the decision but I can't help spending some time already thinking about what type of car to buy myself when I get that check next spring. I stopped by the Chrysler/Dodge/Plymouth dealership in Westport on my way home from Vincennes. I guess Dodge quit making the Stratus and replaced it with the Avenger effective with the 2008 model year. Nice looking car. The practical side of me says that I should buy a slightly used Stratus or Avenger next spring but my sister mentioned something a little bit ago that might steer me in a different direction. If we just had a car Mom could ride that far in without making her back problems a lot worse Mom would love to see my daughter's new house in Texas, and even around town the little bit that Mom gets out would be less of an ordeal in a heavier car. A lot will depend on what's available next spring but I think if I were making the decision tonight I'd probably end up with a Magnum.

***

From the most recent email I received from the VA:

In fairness to our pensioners, we only count the actual income you received. Therefore, your Social Security will only count when you start receiving it. We would not count it as income for 2004 and 2005.

In other words, no matter how much money Social Security sends me in 2008, and no matter that most of it's money they should have sent me over the last 4 years, my non-VA income for 2004-2007 was $0.00 and I get to keep everything the VA sent me during those years. We're talking roughly half of what Social Security's going to be sending me in two or three months so I've been a little nerved up wondering about that.  -- I'd read the email but hadn't mentioned if when I wrote that earlier update about paying Scotty for getting his GED, helping my daughter with mortgage payments, buying a bigger car than really I need, etc.

I went out to sit in the back yard for a while but it's cooled off enough that it's not as relaxing as it was the last few days. On the way back in I bent over to pick up a cat in the garage (Mister's not allowed to spend the night outside) and somehow ended up with one knee and one hand on the floor unexpectedly. I don't think I'm hurt but I may find out differently in the morning.

Something else I've been wondering is whether I'll still be able to see my VA doctors after things shake out. I think the answer is "Yes, but it won't be free any more." I'm sure I can get a Trazodone prescription locally, which I'll probably do, but I'd rather not start over with someone new on my blood pressure/ potassium problem. I also know Medicare doesn't cover hearing aids so staying linked up with the VA system may make sense for that reason too. Which, btw, gives me another excuse to buy a nice road car; I know trips to Marion wouldn't make me as tired in something heavier like a Magnum as they do in the Malibu I'm driving now.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 14, 2007 at 12:45 AM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tuesday, 13 November 2007
 

So why am I stressing out like this now?

Do I have some sort of PTSD-like problem from worrying for so long about whether I'd ever have enough money to be half way comfortable again? My minds a jumble. Mama, are you really, really, sure Santa's coming tonight? Cap'n are you really, really, sure that Freedom Bird's gonna show up on time?

I wasted a good hour and a half yesterday trying to find something online to convince me I don't have it all wrong about how much my SSDI pension will be. Finally the best I could do was fill out an online form requesting a statement, which should be here some time in the next month. I distinctly remember telling my last boss, sometime not long after I first developed serious health problems, that I'd gotten a statement the day before saying if I became disabled I'd be entitled to Social Security benefits almost equal to what I was making working for him, so I can't be too far off.

I've already run the numbers and concluded that even if the VA takes back everything they've ever given me I can still have my little apartment added out back, and probably an almost-new car to go with it. So what am I sitting around worrying about? Do I need to make an emergency appointment with my shrink and tell him I've been seeing black helicopters and FBI agents behind every tree, coming to take me away for something I don't even remember doing? Daddy went through a stage like that before they got him on the right meds. Is it hereditary? I think I'd rather be dead than go through the sort of mental hell he did for a while. But not till after I get that check; I've come too far to let the bastards beat me now.

Maybe the realization that I'm finally officially "retired" has me worried about eventually going through the whole raft of health problems Daddy did. He took early retirement at 55, spent months fighting the Social Security assholes for the money he had coming, and died of emphysema and congestive heart failure at 65. I'm 57. I don't want to suffer like he did. Lord, when you take me, take me quick. Please.

Gotta calm down and think about other things.

I went out to talk to Sunshine but he wouldn't come up to the fence for me. If my lawn chair wasn't wet I'd be sitting out in the back yard right now but I can only stand up for a little while so I came back inside. I hope I'm doing the right thing by just planning a windbreak and not a barn for him; I'll probably start feeling guilty about the time it gets too mean out to do anything before spring. I know keeping him supplied with water after it drops below freezing is going to be a real bitch but there's nothing I can do about it this year. If I have any money left by next fall he gets a heated water trough and maybe a freeze-proof faucet next to it. I wish that could happen this year but there's just no way it can. If I can swing it at all next year he gets a barn with a roof, with a heated water trough in one corner.

I know I don't really "need" to yet but I want to get started soon sketching out a floor plan for my new apartment. I realized while I was outside earlier that I don't really need a "hallway" connecting it to the garage, just something (Is "breezeway" the word I'm looking for?) with a roof. The garage isn't heated anyway so walking back and forth means exposure to outside temperatures either way. I guess I need to work up two floor plans, one for a place just big enough for me and one for a young couple so the place can be rented out after I'm gone, then get quotes both ways.

I'm finally starting to wear down, I think. Time to take my pills and try to get some sleep.

***

I forgot to mention earlier that Scotty says Taylor and Eric are in Indianapolis, working for someone there for a couple of months. I'm feeling very, very fortunate right now that that check from Texas cleared and the weather cleared up long enough to get the fence done last week.

A quote from an email I got from the VA a little bit ago:

Be sure to notify us when you know the monthly rate and effective date of you payment. We base our determination on the date that the payment is actually received, not on the effective date.

I've written back and asked them to verify my interpretation of that but I think it says that no matter how much money Social Security sends me three months from now my non-VA income for '04, '05' '06' and '07 was still $0.00 and I get to keep the money they sent me for those years. We're talking tens of thousands of dollars all total and I guess I'll still stay nerved up about the question until I actually have the money and see that they aren't trying to take it.

Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?
My friends all have Porches, I must make amends.

I know there are other people in the world who are worse off than we are and I promise not to forget about them when I'm finally in a position to help. I made some promises a while back about passing on help people gave us when we really needed it to Soldiers' Angels when I could, and I won't forget. --- In the mean time, folks, there are still Soldiers' Angels and Valour-IT buttons on my sidebar. Have you clicked them recently?

***

Well, you can lead a horse to water; it just takes a little longer if he's blind. When I went out to check on Sunshine this afternoon he was in the barnlot munching hay and I couldn't prove he'd had anything to drink since yesterday -- Of course as much rain as we had yesterday afternoon and overnight the tub may have had quite a bit of water in it I didn't put there, and the hay and grass were wet. I finally talked him in to coming up to the fence so I could scratch his head, then eventually got him to follow me down the fence to his water. No more than he drank when we finally got there I don't think he was in any danger of dehydration, and if I'd just left well enough alone he probably knew where the water was all along. When we went out to give him corn after school Cordell led him ahead over to his water and he turned up his nose at it.

I didn't get an answer to my second VA inquiry yet but after that first one I guess I'm back into "rich rancher" mode for long-term planning purposes. I decided while I was out and around earlier that by this time next year Sunshine's going to have a proper barn, complete with freeze-proof faucet and heated water trough. I also realized that while I'm having the plumbing for that done we need another faucet just this side of the fence for summertime use; right now the hose is connected to a faucet inside the garage, which makes watering the horse involve a lot of extra steps.

Bill's middle-age-crazy secondthird-childhood idea of the week: My ex just bought herself a two year old Dodge Magnum, which our grandson thinks is super-cool. I don't know why she needs something that big, except that our grandson thinks it super-cool and she grew up with big Chrysler products. I, on the other hand, have a fence and barn to build next spring. My favorite of any car I ever owned was our '78 LeBaron; if I had it to do over again I'd buy a Dodge Diplomat (same car, different name) instead of the '87 LeBaron I bought during my second childhood. I may come to my senses by spring but for now I can definitely see myself in a slightly-used Magnum next spring, taking that road-trip to Texas and New Mexico in style. Even if I don't buy a Magnum I'm inclined right now to ignore the fact I can rent a truck to haul fence posts and lumber for a barn in and think in terms of a truck or SUV of some sort. It's way premature to start shopping but I need to go to Vincennes tomorrow anyway and I think I'll drop by the Chrysler-Dodge dealer just this side of the river, where I almost bought that Stratus in the spring of '05, and do some window shopping.

***

I went out to see Sunshine and he actually came up to the fence to visit! Not Cordell, not Vicki, just me! We even walked down opposite sides of the fence together to his water tub. Progress!

I still get reminders every day of why I want my own place so bad I can taste it. I have fond memories of the days when I could take a shower, or a crap, or fix myself a sandwich or some coffee, without having to wait my turn for the bathroom or kitchen. I'm not sure if I can wait another 5 or 6 months or not, but I guess I will.

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 13, 2007 at 01:29 AM in Around our place | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, 12 November 2007
 

Today around the Circle F

No one title-worthy event today but not a bad day so far.

It only took me three stops to find a decent used tire for my car. Now I know where to go first the next time I need one.

World War One ended on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. Today I tried to call the Veterans Administration with questions about what w